the silence between the seconds

exception

“and thanks for always living out loud, being true, and inspiring others to be free.”

I should have blushed or felt a surge of gratitude but truth be told there wasn’t an ounce.
Instead I found a dusty reflection, wrought with complaint, polluted with
Contentment.

Who knew that happiness would create an adverse affect?

Satisfaction silenced inspiration.

respect [ free write ]

I don’t always know what I’m chasing,

But I seem to constantly be running.

I’ve come far,

They tell me,

But I’m not too sure.

 

A tune acutely outta tune,

Maybe this meeting is coming too soon.

I cant really tell without trying, first.

 

 

So, do I flirt with disaster and see if I come out a victor

Or push the boundaries of static comfort?

I know progress is in the future,

But is that day today?

 

Sometimes I’m not even sure what I’m asking for,

I’m just too full of questions to question my motives.

Like,

“I’ve been taught this, so I’mma just keep at this”

blindly groping through bent glasses.

 

I tried to save you,

I really did.

I didn’t mean to disable you,

But that’s how this ended.

 

Just realize this wasn’t my intention,

I have no reason to harm

Anyone.

Let alone

You.

quick before bed

Stain my lips with a kiss of red wine,

Paint my mouth with a divine crimson.

Don’t rush,

Let me enjoy the touch of lust;

Take your time.

It’ll be a sweet one.

nervez

uncertainty makes me weary.

two steps forward before my knees buckle with blood on my knuckles.

too many questions on the tip of my tongue,

too scared to give it a voice.

 

It’s not like I regret the choices I made,

Save me the lecture.

blockage

It all comes out the same,

like regurgitated leftovers

or poorly digested ideas.

Thoughtless chunks stuck in my teeth.

Habit forming meals of senseless news.

It’s the rambling in my sleep,

Sheets tucked too tightly for me to breathe.

 

Random acts of rhyming happens, too.

 

But really?

I think I’ve said this before.

 

I’m stuck

I’m stuck

I’m stuck

I’m stuck I’m stuck I’m stuck I’m

Stuck

In the same old rut.

I’m still standing still in the same old rut.

I’m stuck standing still

I’m stuck standing

I’m still stuck

Standing

When I’d rather be dancing.

 

 

special thanks to Tim Miller [of the NEA four] for giving me permission to be stuck.

too quiet

What does it take for weak to become heroes?

Stereos pump stories of similar sinners never owning up to fate;

I don’t wanna be another statistic.

 

I gotta break the cycle

Of unpaid bills,

Dusty windowsills,

Sleeping pills,

Thrills from toeing the wrong line.

 

Help me find some courage.

I lost it a while ago,

When my ambitions were still growing.

Before knowing failure firsthand.

 

The sun’s coming back tomorrow, I know,

But what if I don’t

And I never saw the day where I had it all?

 

What does it take to be strong?

To rid myself of habits that hold me back,

Cut the fat off hearty dreams

To keep my racing heart from bursting its seams.

 

My rhythm’s off.

Can’t find that either.

I’ll be lucky if I can look in the mirror and find my face in the fog.

 

 

 

Someone turn the music back on,

All I can hear is my Self think. 

 

put to rest

Sometimes I fear the weight of my own dreams.

It seems so illogical to want such great things.

And so

It seems like

More work

To get me down.

 

I’m afraid

I’ll stop myself.

Get in my own way.

 

It doesn’t matter if I’m capable,

If I convince myself I’m unable

To stretch my reach further.

 

I’ll let myself

Murder

My own

Dreams.